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    The dating "game" is the built-in occasion for such ungodly behavior.Those who remain sexually unscathed in such relationships do so unnaturally, as they are really fighting off the creational purpose for one-on-one relationships.This involves judging a potential guy or girl for the 38 qualities you are looking for in an ideal mate—before even grabbing coffee together. Sometimes the “hanging out” leads to hooking up, sans dating, which is another uber-confusing side effect of the Faux Christian Dating cycle. What if Christians just began to date like normal people—not dating toward immediate marriage and not eschewing dating for the less-desirable “hanging out” no man’s land?It’s like arranged marriages where no one is making the arrangements, and it doesn’t seem to work very well. Here’s what I think it would require: Stop evaluating whether the guy who’s taken an interest in you is strong and tenderhearted enough to raise your future kids.A few weeks ago my editor here at 4 Marks asked me to "write about the role physical attraction plays in choosing a spouse." At first it seemed like a fun break from writing more serious articles. We seek beauty in nature, art and pretty much everything else; that is just how God made us.Then it hit me — my readers seem to be deeply religious people who would expect me to say that looks don't matter. Many of the saints have said that man's desire for beauty is a reflection of our higher nature that seeks God, as the creation is a reflection of its creator.Even the Bible tells the story of Esther, the beautiful Hebrew woman who was so desired by the King of Persia, that she was able to save her people solely on the merits of her physical attractiveness.

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    Here was the first "date," as both Adam and Eve were alone in the Garden. Adam deduced: This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh . This creation pattern presents an interesting paradox, when viewed in light of the modern phenomenon of dating.I don’t have first-hand knowledge, but thanks to reality TV, I believe it appears to involve asking the woman’s dad if she is available to date, and possibly not kissing until the actual wedding.Outside the Duggar-verse, there is the less overt but just as prevalent “ideal spouse” dating. Did she want my sweatshirt because she was cold, or because she likes me?If this isn’t the goal, then what is the point of dating unless your only goal is to engage in a sexual relationship outside of marriage?I, too have fallen into believing the lie of scripture not being clear on sexual intimacy.

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